Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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