I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
