at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
