he told me I talked like a deaf person
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
jump out the window naked night went bad
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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