ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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