His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
