We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
