you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
