just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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