brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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