What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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