So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
