I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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