New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize