normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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