he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
