If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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