We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
