if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
