im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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