This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
