I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
