I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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