I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
