Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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