at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
