May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
