I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
