god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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