when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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