how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
