Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
