wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
