i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
