i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
