3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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