I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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