we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
