real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
