Can i not drive my cunt home
Tell her she can't have a vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
