Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
