What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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