I puked a lego.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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