Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
