omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
