Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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