im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
