Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
