Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That accounts for only three of the penises
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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