If i could tip my vagina, i would.
only if we run a train.
done.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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