That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish i was in the wii world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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