You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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