margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You did what with his pubic hair?
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