I am in a vortex of obligation.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
