With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
