At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hippo gnu deer
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
