True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize