there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
