does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
