She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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