Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
